More often than not, all of us have gone on a guilt trip of our own. Its this vacation which comes every now and then which surprises you out of nowhere and then you start saying things like " Its all my fault.,
Why God, why me? , I wish I didn't do that, If only I could go back in time and..." 
It so happens that somehow going on with our life we forget to pause and see what we're really doing or saying and don't realize how we end up being someone we think we're really not. 

This becomes a battle of the should's." I should have done something at that time but I couldn't." 

Guilt often stems from lack of action but honestly it comes out of lack of intention. We feel a lot of things and its sad but sometimes we need to see things tangibly go wrong on the outside to figure out where we're going wrong on the inside. 

Even so, no one likes going on these guilt trips where we've set standards for ourselves to feel right or wrong and control ourselves to feel more sane or make sense of our actions and feelings. 

We becomes these messed up souls with no idea about how this happened to us and what we did wrong and how to fix it. We lose ourselves on this path of self destruction. Now even though guilt can sometimes be a useless reaction, more often than not its an inside signal telling you something's gone wrong with your emotional system.

Its more of a wake up call to remind you that no matter how much you believe things can't or won't change, you're capable of a lot and you can help yourself even if you don't know how. Guilt can be used as a tool to rise from all that's made you fall and become one step closer to the real you. Its never the people who're good or bad, but situations which mould you a certain way. Guilt, I believe is the protective defense which can mould your inner environment to deal with your outer environment.

So what I really am trying to say I believe is guilt makes you feel like shit, it makes you go to an all together new low for a lot of things you could have been and you'd like them to be, feel all of it, but don't hold on to it for too long, use it for what it is, the red signal which made you stop to seek the yellow to think of your next possible action to fix it and the green when you're good to go. :)

Ever heard yourself wonder if what you're doing is good enough or not, right or not, is this more me or not? Do you end up believing what others say to you about the person they think you are and what you can or cannot do?

If you answered Yes to any of the questions above, you're a victim of self doubt.

This is dangerous mostly to you not others. This feeling of questioning yourself and being perplexed constantly not just by your own questions but by others questioning you further is like a gradual course of poison in your mental system which gradually creeps into your behavior.

You will always have a question mark on your face and people will wonder why?

Look at this right now : ?

Don't you feel the urge to question that very question mark above? That's how people will feel seeing the question mark on your face. The minute you decide, whether for good or bad, you make a choice and it
shows on your face and through your very actions.

We chase after things we think exist but which don't, we believe in something with such conviction that it seems almost impossible to believe in things otherwise. Life will question you enough anyway in the circumstances it presents to you, why add on to those questions?

The anxiety of not knowing what to do when or how has perplexed every human that has come upon this Earth, but as they say learn to deal with things or situations as they come to you and not worry yourself too much with 'What if's ' ?

I'll show you an example of my What if story?

What if I end up choosing the wrong career, making the wrong friends and getting into trouble? What if I end up being someone I don't want to be? What if I hurt people around me? What if I grow old and sick and have no one to look after me?


That's usually how it goes in all the self doubtful people's minds. I could go on but I think you get the point. The truth of the matter is no matter how much we plan or dream of a future, it never turns out the way we picture it. We try to control certain things which we think we are in control of yet do not realize that by questioning even those things we question our growth and what's alive inside us right now.

So, here's a thought, the English language has other punctuation marks which can be of great interest to you, like a , (comma) or a full stop . or even exclamation marks ! to spice up those boring days.

Imagine having read all your stories or texts as a child till now in question marks, how annoying would that be.

So rid yourself of things you don't know yet and don't even need to know yet and work your way through with the right now and the near about future which is just enough to keep your mind full.

Until then ?

Sorry, wrong punctuation.

Until next time.